There are plenty of women in this world who feel that their passion in life is being a mom, and they are awesome at it. Their maternal instincts are through the roof and they take pride in the homemaking tasks they do each day. I spent a great deal of time trying to be that mom. Of course, I don’t love my son any less than moms like that love their children, but when it comes to homemaking, there’s just no way I’m ever going to truly enjoy it.
I envy the moms who feel that completely fulfilled by motherhood and it’s hard not to feel guilty for not feeling the same way. But I know I’m not alone. On one hand, the thought of going to work in an office and leaving my son all day is devastating to me. On the other hand, my drive and ambition seemed to start dwindling away when I became a stay at home mom. I knew I had to find a way to be home with my son and fulfill my creative needs.
How to Find Your Passion in Life When You’re a Stay at Home Mom
As a stay at home mom, it’s tough to allow time to pursue things for yourself. Ultimately, finding and pursuing your passion is a form of self-care. I talk more about self-actualization needs in my post on Self Care for Moms Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The general idea is that once you have all of your basic needs met, self-actualization needs are the key to finding true happiness. Feeling completely fulfilled and satisfied with yourself and your life is something we should all strive for. A happy mom = a happy home!
Let’s talk about the steps you can take to find your passion in life…
What Do You Love To Do?
The first thing to consider is what you love to do. What would you do if you had more time? Do you love DIY home decor or crocheting? Or maybe you’re more business oriented and you love project management or marketing. During this step, try to not look at it from the perspective of “what can I make money doing?” Instead, think about what you would do even if no one paid you.
For me, I love writing, art & design. These hobbies can be expressed in so many different ways, but this step is just about determining what those hobbies are in the first place. There was a point, not long after my son was born, that my husband asked me why I didn’t have any hobbies. He was always going on about music or movies he liked and I had nothing to contribute. I had lost sight of who I was as an individual. I realize now how important it is to not get so lost in motherhood that you forget who you are.
So, find some hobbies that you enjoy and start fitting them into your week. Crochet something new that you haven’t tried before or take a new marketing course during your little one’s nap time. Whatever you do, just do it for fun. Enjoy yourself!
What are you good at?
Aside from the things you enjoy, it’s always good to consider the things you are particularly good at. We usually enjoy doing things that we can do well, at least in some capacity. For example, I’m good with numbers, but I hated working in payroll. What I did enjoy was working in analytics. There’s always a way that your skills can be used in a way you enjoy.
If you’re not sure what your strong suits are, try asking those close to you. Ask them what they would come to you for help with because you are better at it than they are. When I asked my husband he said “organizing anything”. While that may be vague, it’s important to note that I work well with structure. This definitely helped me to further narrow down my passion.
Think about what you are skilled in across all areas. Your hobby may be a craft, but if you’re also a social media rockstar, this could definitely be beneficial down the road when you decide to go all out on your passion pursuit.
When you’re young and single, everyone says that you won’t find the love of your life if you’re looking. Love will come to you when you least expect it. The same logic applies when you are trying to find your passion! You can’t just pick something and go full force. For most people, their passion is presented to them in an unexpected way.
The best way to find your passion in life is to just start doing something. Start taking a little time here and there to do things that you love. The more you do this, the more that you will start to uncover which hobby speaks to you the most, or which aspect of that hobby brings you the most joy. You may even find that you begin to crave an activity.
If there’s something that you just can’t stop talking about and can’t wait to get back to, that means you are passionate about it! Follow that feeling!
Consider Going Further
So, you’ve explored some hobbies and you have found one that you absolutely love doing. Something you are good at. When given the opportunity, you’ll happily talk someone’s ear off about it. If you have any downtime at all, you spend it working on that hobby. It’s becoming a passion. But what now?
Remember how I said not to be in the “What can I make money doing?” mindset in the beginning? Well now is the time to consider this thought. If you already know what you love, why not make it into something both mentally and financially fulfilling? Granted, there are times when adding money to the equation can take the enjoyment out of it, so you’ll have to tread lightly. But being able to make money doing something you love is the ultimate dream, so it’s definitely worth exploring your options.
Take some time to think about this. If you create goods, can you open an Etsy shop? Do you love writing as much as I do? Start a blog! Neither of these options are instant money makers, but they are ways to begin the process of pursuing your passion. They also allow you to do so at your own pace and on your own terms.
Related Post: How to Start a Mom Blog: A Beginner’s Perspective
Get Everyone On Board
When you find your passion in life, your perspective can sometimes change drastically. A once content stay at home mom may now possess a great deal of drive to pursue her passion as a work at home mom in full force. When things really started taking off with this blog, I went into overdrive. I couldn’t wait to get up early every morning to get to work before my husband and son woke up. I wanted to work on it as much as possible and my creative satisfaction was at an all-time high.
If you do find yourself in a position where you want to push things to the next level, you’ll want to get everyone else on board. Is mommy going to be working for a bit in the evening? Do you need your husband to help out around the house a little more now so that you can further pursue your passion? Or maybe your parents can help with some mid-week childcare to free up some time for you. Do what you can to get everyone on board and make your passion a priority.
Make it Happen
I may not have a formal statistic for this, but I’m willing to bet that I’m right when I say that the number one thing holding moms back from pursuing their passion in life is mom guilt. We often feel that we should devote every waking second to our family and if we don’t we aren’t being a good mom. What we often forget is that being the best mom we can means that we need to be happy! It’s okay to admit that being a wife and a mother isn’t all that you need in life.
If you are fortunate enough to find your passion in life, don’t brush it off. Move forward. Of course, there will be times when life will get in the way. No matter what, as soon as you can get back on track, do it. Don’t let a rough patch stop you from doing what you love. You deserve to feel fulfilled in life as much as your husband, or your single, childless friends.
Follow Your Heart
I know it sounds cheesy, but there really is something to this. Learn how to listen to your heart and follow it! If you’re heart beats a little faster when you think about the idea of owning your own Etsy shop, follow that feeling! If the idea of working in a cubicle for 8 hours a day away from your little one(s) makes your heart hurt, do whatever you can to avoid that. Everyone has a different take on what these feelings mean. I like to think it’s my heart telling me what I need, but some may call it “going with your gut”. Others may consider it to be fate or faith-based. Whatever the feeling means to you, follow it without hesitation.
Speaking From Experience
Before I began pursuing my passion, I was burnt out. Days were monotonous and the time spent with my family wasn’t the level of quality I thought it should be. I didn’t feel like myself.
When I finally started to find my way, my husband took notice. He was more supportive when I didn’t get the housework done because he knew I was doing something that was important to me. He seemed more interested in what I had to say because I was bringing more to the conversation than complaints about our son’s tantrum that day.
I am a happier mom and when I play with my son, I feel like I am 100% present. I made the decision to set aside the mom guilt and take the leap to finding what made me happy in life and I couldn’t be more thrilled with the result. My hope is that this post will help you to find your passion as well and benefit from the joy that it can bring to your life.
Are you ready to find your passion? Or have you already found it??
Tell me about it in the comments below!
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