How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day When You’re Married with Kids
Celebrating Valentine’s Day when you’re married with kids is no easy feat, but it’s more important than ever. Before having kids it was easy to make any day special, though most of us probably didn’t think to take advantage of this while we could! When little ones enter the scene, any chance of romance seems to be crushed by the spit-up stain on your shirt, or the endless “it’s your turn” diaper changing battles. Sure, there are so many fun things to do on Valentine’s Day with your kids, but when it comes to making sure that you and your spouse get the one-on-one time that you need, it often gets put on the back-burner.
Don’t put your love on the back-burner
Why is it Important to Celebrate Valentine’s Day?
You can justify it all you want. “We don’t need to be spending money”, or “It’s just a made-up holiday, anyway”. But the truth is, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year, aside from your anniversary, where you have an excuse to show your spouse how much you love them. One Romantic evening can reignite the flame, remind you and your spouse why you got married in the first place, and boost your intimacy.
It’s really not even about Valentine’s Day itself. The holiday simply provides a good excuse to do something we already should be doing. Regular date nights for a married couple can maintain your romantic bond and provide you with much-needed relief from being in parent mode all the time. Additionally, romantic gestures can go a long way in strengthening your marriage. Even the “tough guy” husbands who act as though anything romantic is too “mushy” for them can appreciate feeling special. Maybe feeling special for them is receiving a home cooked meal, or a pre-planned moment of solitude, but there is absolutely some way to show them that you love them.
Related Post: I Married a Traditional Man…On Purpose! *Gasp*
Learn Their Love Language
One fun idea for Valentine’s Day this year is to learn your spouse’s love language. Dr. Chapman, the author of the book you see below, breaks down love languages into the following 5 Categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. He believes that every person has one primary and one secondary love language. After learning more about each of these love languages, it didn’t take much for me to determine the primary and secondary languages for myself and my husband.
Once you have it nailed down, it becomes fun to come up with ways to show them you care. In addition to the tips and ideas listed in this post, you could surprise them by showing your love in the exact way they need you to. If you haven’t already been doing so, and learning their love language is a revelation to you, this change will be incredibly apparent and more than likely heavily appreciated.
Let’s talk about some great ways to make February 14th special this year…
It’s all about timing
What’s the number one challenge with celebrating Valentine’s Day when you’re Married with Kids? Let’s be honest here, it’s the kids. It’s definitely the kids. So, how do you find a way to celebrate when you don’t have a sitter or when Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday?
Need to get baby on a schedule? Read Why I chose a Parent-Led Schedule
Pick a Different Day
My husband and I are all about picking a more convenient day to celebrate holidays when necessary. If Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday, we will celebrate that weekend. Or if we can’t find a sitter for the weekend, maybe even the following weekend will do. The important thing is that we get to spend the day celebrating the way we want to, not that it falls on the exact holiday. Not to mention, it can often be easier to get a dinner reservation or it may be cheaper to book a hotel room on a different day.
Take Advantage of Your Morning
Wake up early and start Valentine’s Day off right! If you’re awake enough, some early morning intimacy is sure to put anyone in a good mood for the day, even if you or your spouse have to go to work that day. Follow it up with a spectacular Valentine’s Day breakfast and you’ve already made the day far more special than your average day!
Why not have a little fun with breakfast? Try out some of these Valentine’s Day Breakfast Ideas
Celebrating on a Workday
If you or your spouse has to work on Valentine’s Day and you still want to make the day special, try to find a couple of ways that you can still show them your love while you’re apart. Does your spouse have a commute? Why not create them a mix of songs that will remind them of your dating days, your wedding, or other memories that you both cherish? My husband and I use Spotify, so we can create and share playlists with almost any song you can imagine. If I create a playlist that is the length of his commute, he can start off his day with a hefty dose of romance.
If you pack your spouse a lunch for the day, include a sweet note, or send them romantic messages or emails throughout the day. Of course, if you really want to spice things up, you can send your spouse some steamy text messages. Whether it be your thoughts on the festivities to take place later in the evening or some “creative” photography, your spouse is sure to enjoy these little surprises.
An Inexpensive Night Out
So, you finally have a sitter for the night and you want to go out, but the cost of diapers has you and your spouse worried about spending money on yourselves for once. While it may seem like the appropriate Valentine’s Day Date night activity is to spend a fortune on a fancy dinner, it’s hardly the most exciting option. Here are some great alternatives to the traditional steak dinner…
Bowling is a cheap and fun way to engage in some silly competition with each other. For whatever reason, no matter how many times I go bowling, I’m always pleasantly surprised by how much fun I had. I’m no pro bowler but getting ridiculous gutter balls and the occasional surprise strike is what the fun is all about.
Doing something creative together can be a really great way to bond as a couple. Try taking one of those wine and painting classes together. Wine & Canvas has locations all across the U.S. but there are many others to choose from as well. These classes are particularly good for those who may not be all that artistically inclined. You’d be surprised how well you can do with the simple instruction they offer! At the end of the class, you get to take your creations home with you, along with a great memory.
If you’re the active type, find a way to make your favorite activities romantic. Take a bike ride on a beach boardwalk, or go on an evening hike and watch the sunset together. Of course, this depends on the weather in your location in February. We are from Arizona originally, where an evening hike would be no problem in February, but in our new home in New England, it’s not exactly pleasant to hang around outside for any longer than you have to this time of year!
A Romantic Evening at Home
If you aren’t able to get a sitter, or you just don’t want to spend a fortune on Valentine’s Day, there are so many ways to make an evening in special and romantic.
Start by pouring yourselves a glass of wine, lighting some candles and playing a song that screams romance – like your wedding song. Dinner can be a home cooked meal that your spouse loves, take out from your favorite restaurant. or a meal that reminds you both of something special. If you want to have a little fun with it, you can make some Valentine’s Day themed food as well.
Post Dinner Fun
Follow up dinner with an activity that you both enjoy. Watch a romantic movie or play a board game. My husband and I love to find new video games that we can play together. Whatever you do, make sure that you are spending time together. None of this playing on your cell phone while a movie is on in the background nonsense. Snuggle up and be present in the moment. Play a game that will make you interact and laugh. Valentine’s Day is about you and your spouse spending time together in a romantic way, not an obligation or a hassle. Set aside your daily stress, your constant kid related thoughts, and your financial worries. Just focus on the two of you in the best way that you can and have some fun!
Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be complete without a little intimacy. Married couples often struggle to maintain intimacy on a regular basis, particularly after they have kids. Valentines Day is a great way to get things moving again (no pun intended). If you need a little help getting things started, try playing a game or mixing things up by moving the party to a new setting. If all else fails, just start by making out like you did when you were dating. It may feel silly at first, but there’s just something about making out – trust me on this one.
If there’s one thing that you take away from this post, please let it be that you and your spouse need to make time for each other this Valentine’s Day, or on whichever day you choose to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, it just needs to be about the two of you!
So, what are YOU doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year?
Let me know in the comments below!
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